President Trump to Outlaw Celebrating Cinco de Mayo After 2017

Donald Trump Eating a Taco Bowl

The 45th President of The United States is responding with force after being called a hypocrite for wanting to build a wall and allowing people to celebrate a “Mexican Holiday”.  The series of tweets leading up to his pledge can be found on his twitter. President Trump and his republican (mostly Neo-Nazi) staff are working to finalize a bill that would make all celebrations of Cinco de Mayo after 2017 against the law and punishable by exile to Tacoland, North America or as normal, educated people refer to it, Mexico.

This news comes on the heels of reports that Republicans are stripping healthcare from the Americans that need it the most in return for tax breaks to strengthen the budget on police brutality, bombing the middle east, and chocolate cake for President Trump.

The House has already passed the bill and are waiting for the Senate to add in provisions that Republicans are hoping would add a crocodile filled moat to either side of the proposed wall and eliminate black history month altogether.   The new proposed celebration, to take place on the 5th of May would be called “Five-O de Drinko” to celebrate the men in blue and particularly to eliminate the Spanish word for five because, “This is America and we speak english.”  Sombreros, Ponchos, and Mustaches are still up for debate.

Avenue Viral’s own Justin Hermowth is the lead reporter on this story and will have more as we receive more information from Congress.